So this one isn't about the pregnancy...
ok who am I kidding...yes it is!
Now a days everything is about the pregnancy...but this post is a little different.
It's about the 7th month relationship that I now share with my toilet...
The shit pot - which I have begun to have new respect for because of its many uses during pregnancy - is no longer the shit pot!
Its the one thing that welcomes you on all your bad days of nausea, constipation, segmented peeing (will come to that later) and some very weird mood swings.
I have spent many days where I was in the toilet for more time than in the bed room and if the occasion was of nausea, my husband was in there with me as well... mostly patting my back and then cleaning after me(while I tried to do it on my own, there is only so much energy you have after a point).
So here goes....
Most mornings in my first trimester were spent saying Good (don't want to use the word "bad" or "Pukish") Morning to the shit pot(whom I am naming "Mr. POT") before I had any human contact! Now ofcourse, you'd say why didn't you eat something early in the morning - that prevents nausea etc etc. trust me you've got to go when you've got to go... the bile rising up sometimes doesn't care a damn about the early morning apple... if it has his way, the apple would be its trigger and naturally the first thing out of you.
And then of course, is the time when you brush your teeth and those of you who like me have a habit of cleaning the tongue rigorously well if you happen to be pregnant(talking to only the women here), be ready for the another 5 min with Mr.Pot - cleansing has a definite attraction for the gastric juices jumping right up.
All this time, when you are staring down Mr.Pot, he looks back at you in a way which says, don't worry let it all come and I will surely flush it all out...and the next time you return, I will be ready.
And return you will, your next session would be actually shitting...(I know I am using really crass language but trust me once the baby is out, I like many of my friends would learn to use the word "duck" instead of ...oh you know what I mean).... so coming back to where I was, shitting isn't the same when you are pregnant... u have got to ease it out, apply less pressure and let your body relax...if you don't already have the habit of reading in the toilet, my 2 words of advice... ACQUIRE IT!
I would often decide on what segment of the morning newspaper I wanted to read based on how much I was going to crap and how easy or tough would today be(trust me, you know when its going to be tough).
This doesn't make the experience enjoyable but definitely helps keep your mind off the now very sleepy bum.
There were times when I could actually sit on a chair and feel less comfortable than how I felt sitting on Mr.Pot...guess, habits change! And hope they change again soon..
Moving on, so in the beginning of the post I was talking about segmented peeing... when you move in the third trimester and the baby...the cutest baby ever is squirming and shifting and kicking and punching...innocently it would press against your bladder...and no not in one go where things might gush out but slowly slowly...
So here is how it works... you go to sleep say at 11:15 after having completed your night time chores which includes spending a good amount of time in the toilet and you get up at 12...in about 5-7 min you have gotten out of bed and reached the toilet(not counting the time taken to reach the toilet from the bathroom) and you sit and pee; you feel better get up...return....take another 5-7 min to lie down and another couple to go back to sleep.... 12:30 you are up again, feeling that you weren't done then... you follow the same routine as above...only this time the pee is nothing beyond couple of drops...and you curse as you are feeling sleepy and you are not quite done yet... you get up....look back at Mr.Pot who gives you a look "are you really done"... you contemplate and say no and sit back....this time hoping it would be more...another drop ... you wash up and go back to bed wondering how much time it would now take to go to sleep.
You get back.... not so sleepy any more... take your mobile...check facebook...twitter....news sites....and in no time an hour has passed and you are really sleepy but as you are closing your eyes...your bladder sends you a message...go pee to sleep peacefully.... naive that you are, you fall for it and not only do you get in a loop, you have partially lost your sleep...feeling a little acidic(get acidity I mean)..so you either take a gulp of medicine or a glass of cold milk and pray to God that please please ....let me sleep now.
And finally you will, you won't know what time...but you will and if God willing, you are in deep sleep you won't wake up again beyond 2-3 times.
Slowing you will get in a routine where you might train yourself to sleep instantly and you might as well acquire that habit because trust me...it would help you in the long run even after you become a mother (or so I am told).
okay written enough...Mr.Pot beckons me...and like in any relationship i have treated him equally well..he gets a nice bath every other day and is rinsed and squeaky clean for our next adventure together..
For those of you who are going through this...treat your Mr.Pot well...he will be your strong, silent companion in your tiring and sleepless days and nights!
ok who am I kidding...yes it is!
Now a days everything is about the pregnancy...but this post is a little different.
It's about the 7th month relationship that I now share with my toilet...
The shit pot - which I have begun to have new respect for because of its many uses during pregnancy - is no longer the shit pot!
Its the one thing that welcomes you on all your bad days of nausea, constipation, segmented peeing (will come to that later) and some very weird mood swings.
I have spent many days where I was in the toilet for more time than in the bed room and if the occasion was of nausea, my husband was in there with me as well... mostly patting my back and then cleaning after me(while I tried to do it on my own, there is only so much energy you have after a point).
So here goes....
Most mornings in my first trimester were spent saying Good (don't want to use the word "bad" or "Pukish") Morning to the shit pot(whom I am naming "Mr. POT") before I had any human contact! Now ofcourse, you'd say why didn't you eat something early in the morning - that prevents nausea etc etc. trust me you've got to go when you've got to go... the bile rising up sometimes doesn't care a damn about the early morning apple... if it has his way, the apple would be its trigger and naturally the first thing out of you.
And then of course, is the time when you brush your teeth and those of you who like me have a habit of cleaning the tongue rigorously well if you happen to be pregnant(talking to only the women here), be ready for the another 5 min with Mr.Pot - cleansing has a definite attraction for the gastric juices jumping right up.
All this time, when you are staring down Mr.Pot, he looks back at you in a way which says, don't worry let it all come and I will surely flush it all out...and the next time you return, I will be ready.
And return you will, your next session would be actually shitting...(I know I am using really crass language but trust me once the baby is out, I like many of my friends would learn to use the word "duck" instead of ...oh you know what I mean).... so coming back to where I was, shitting isn't the same when you are pregnant... u have got to ease it out, apply less pressure and let your body relax...if you don't already have the habit of reading in the toilet, my 2 words of advice... ACQUIRE IT!
I would often decide on what segment of the morning newspaper I wanted to read based on how much I was going to crap and how easy or tough would today be(trust me, you know when its going to be tough).
This doesn't make the experience enjoyable but definitely helps keep your mind off the now very sleepy bum.
There were times when I could actually sit on a chair and feel less comfortable than how I felt sitting on Mr.Pot...guess, habits change! And hope they change again soon..
Moving on, so in the beginning of the post I was talking about segmented peeing... when you move in the third trimester and the baby...the cutest baby ever is squirming and shifting and kicking and punching...innocently it would press against your bladder...and no not in one go where things might gush out but slowly slowly...
So here is how it works... you go to sleep say at 11:15 after having completed your night time chores which includes spending a good amount of time in the toilet and you get up at 12...in about 5-7 min you have gotten out of bed and reached the toilet(not counting the time taken to reach the toilet from the bathroom) and you sit and pee; you feel better get up...return....take another 5-7 min to lie down and another couple to go back to sleep.... 12:30 you are up again, feeling that you weren't done then... you follow the same routine as above...only this time the pee is nothing beyond couple of drops...and you curse as you are feeling sleepy and you are not quite done yet... you get up....look back at Mr.Pot who gives you a look "are you really done"... you contemplate and say no and sit back....this time hoping it would be more...another drop ... you wash up and go back to bed wondering how much time it would now take to go to sleep.
You get back.... not so sleepy any more... take your mobile...check facebook...twitter....news sites....and in no time an hour has passed and you are really sleepy but as you are closing your eyes...your bladder sends you a message...go pee to sleep peacefully.... naive that you are, you fall for it and not only do you get in a loop, you have partially lost your sleep...feeling a little acidic(get acidity I mean)..so you either take a gulp of medicine or a glass of cold milk and pray to God that please please ....let me sleep now.
And finally you will, you won't know what time...but you will and if God willing, you are in deep sleep you won't wake up again beyond 2-3 times.
Slowing you will get in a routine where you might train yourself to sleep instantly and you might as well acquire that habit because trust me...it would help you in the long run even after you become a mother (or so I am told).
okay written enough...Mr.Pot beckons me...and like in any relationship i have treated him equally well..he gets a nice bath every other day and is rinsed and squeaky clean for our next adventure together..
For those of you who are going through this...treat your Mr.Pot well...he will be your strong, silent companion in your tiring and sleepless days and nights!
